This Year is All We’ve got!

December 31, 2007 by Karen 

A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don’t allow the happy moment, because they’re so busy trying to get a happy life.

These profound words were spoken by Abraham of Esther and Jerry Hicks’ teachings. If you are unfamiliar with this incredible work, please do yourself the favor of exploring these teachings! It is in line with what I have been trying to convey and live. Like all of the great teachings of the Spiritual leaders of humanity, it sounds so simple and yet every day we are tripped up by, well, life. And mostly, ourselves. And yet the messages continue to reach us through Jesus, through Buddah, through Ghandi, the Dalai Lama, Sidi (the great Sufi teacher) and Sai Maa (a new teacher I am learning about), the reverend or priest or Rabbi at your place of worship, and even modern philosophers such as Eckert Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Carolyn Myss. I am devouring all of it and it is all so completely simple. And yet we continue to struggle to live it every moment of every day.

Why do we allow ourselves to struggle and suffer? Why do we hang on to toxic relationships and unfulfilling careers and unhealthy habits? Why do we complain and criticize one another and gossip?

What if we were all told that we had one year left to live? What would we do? How would we view our lives differently?

If you heard those words today with regard to your life, what changes would you make? Would you stay in your job if it is not feeding your soul? Would you maintain relationships that are not serving you? Would you continue to abuse your body? Would you finally start praying or exercising or eating better? Would you reconnect with special people from your past that you have lost touch with? Would you travel? Would you read more? Would you tell people how much they really mean to you?

These are the questions I have asked myself.

Next week marks 6 months since I heard those very words. 6 months! I can hardly believe so much time has passed since this incredible transition in my life. And yet, although I certainly plug my ears whenever doctors start talking numbers- any numbers- markers or months- in the back of my mind, I know that there is some reality that my life has been altered and even, perhaps cut short by dis-ease. And I took that not so much as a sentence than as a gift.

Now, if I bought into everything I heard this summer, I would not be sitting here- upright at a desk with makeup and clothes on ready to step out for a fun filled day of spiritual nurturing and friendship. I would have never left that hospital. And there were moments in July when I thought I never would.

But I knew I had more to give. More to live. And so I have made it my personal mission to truly LIVE this “Last year of my life.”

I remember telling my extended family as they stood weeping at my bedside that I was determined to spend my last days- be it 20 days or 20 years- creating JOY. And I believe that I have accomplished just that- and continue to every day. Even on the difficult days, when I pull the covers up over my head and cry. There is always at least one moment for which I am grateful in any given day. And I embrace those moments.

As I reflect on the last six months, I am so grateful for the many, many blessings befallen on our little family. We have been given incredible opportunities by some incredibly generous people. We have had the opportunity to travel like I before only fantasized about. We have spent quality time together as a family talking about our dreams for Zaiden’s future. We have started going to church- something I never imagined I would find myself doing again, much less my husband, and it has become an important part of our lives. I have begun projects (like this living journal) that I would have procrastinated before because there was “not enough time.” I have begun to make the rounds to really let people know how much they have been loved and the profound ways they have touched my life.

For me, the reality is there, and I do not look at it mournfully (well, not often, anyway). I see it as an opportunity to truly LIVE. And if I get to July and live on, then guess what? I have just lived the BEST year of my life!!

So go ahead, I dare ya: Create the most amazing year of your life… until NEXT year, of course!

BE the change you want to see in your world.

With loving service and boundless gratitude-
Kalena/ Karen Puanani
Pure Beautiful Flower

Filed under: Living Journal

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