OHI…Oh, My!

September 5, 2007 by Karen 

My OHI experience was absolutely amazing. Life changing in so many ways.
When we went to visit the Optimum Health Institute on the 5th of August, I was using a wheelchair and a brace, as I was too weak to stand for more than a few minutes. By the following week, the first day of my retreat, I was using a walker and the brace. Within two days of a raw diet, meditation and prayer, and fellowship with some incredible people, I abandoned the walker altogether, and a few days later, the brace. I began doing the morning stretch class (real easy yoga-type movement) little by little, and by the end of my stay, I was stretching on land and in the pool and walking 1/4 mile!

Those who know me know that I have always been physically fit, so this may seem a minor accomplishment. But when I was discharged from the hospital 2 weeks earlier, I was 35 lbs underweight and could hardly stand, much less walk. In fact, I had overextended myself to the point of nausea while walking half way down the hall with my physical therapist the day prior to discharge. My shoulders were hunched and I was literally skin and bone. The image staring back at me, horrified, was a scrawny 101 lb 96 year old woman. I am proud to share that my posture is 90% back to what it was, I have gained about 9 pounds back and my arms and legs are starting to show a bit of definition again! (Now if only I could get my booty back! Anyone know some good low-impact butt exercises?)

As far as the other elements of my journey- the mind and spirit stuff- Big changes there, too! In my daily mediations, I am learning to listen to that still small voice. One message that has been loud and clear is “Let it in.” You cannot truly receive if you don’t let it in. Health. Love. Peace. Prosperity. My focus is now letting in the light of God that can heal all of my wounds.

On the medical side, I just got a CAT scan last week and the tumors are stable- which to me means that this very aggressive dis-ease is not accelerating! Next CAT scan, I hope to see smaller tumors and less of ‘em!

There is so much that I attribute my healing to – yes, my positive attitude is a huge part of it. And I am learning first hand how powerful the mind really is! Don’t think I am without my Pity Parties- oh, I’ve had a few Bashes!! I think anger can be a healthy emotion if you really feel it all the way, express it, then let it go. Holding anger in, I believe, is part of what got me to this point in the first place. But that is another topic… I was talking about healing.

So, there are so many things I believe are playing huge roles in my healing- body, mind and spirit. Your prayers, energy, love, and light have been such an essential part of my healing! I feel it! And the messages through letters, cards, emails and phone calls- whew! I cry on a daily basis to realize how much love there is in the world and that I get such an abundance of it sent my way! And then there is Gratitude.

Something that Rick and I started doing when Zaiden came into our lives is the Gratitude Game. Each night we take turns sharing what we are grateful for. Zaiden is a part of our ritual now and it is a wonderful exercise in counting our blessings and sharing our experiences. When I was diagnosed, I kept hearing “Gratitude” inside my head. Strange thing to consider when you are told you have a terminal dis-ease… But expressing my gratitude has freed me of so much pain and grief.

The first two items on my list every night are my amazing daughter, and my incredible husband (without whom the former would not be on my list at all!). Today I am grateful for Rick- my incredible husband and life partner who has taken on everything for me and loves me more every single day we walk this journey together. I know that if he could (like my parents), he would take the tumors from my body and put them in his. Rick’s unconditional love and support make every day worth living (and loving).

I am grateful for my AMAZING Zaiden. She is growing so much through this. She is articulating her emotions and helping to take care of me and has been truly balanced- she helps US stay in balance. I could write a book just on the amazing Zaiden- and I probably will some day ! She makes every moment a miracle!

I am grateful for the love I see daily in the support from the people who touch my life. From family and friends who have known me longer than I can remember to new friends I meet in passing, I see so much love everywhere I turn.

I am grateful for the Do-Over. I feel like cancer has given me a Do-Over on my life, and I am making so many positive changes to my life. The cool thing is, you don’t have to get sick to get a Do-Over. Just TAKE ONE!!

I am grateful for every day I have on this planet. I am grateful for YOU!
Thank you for the love.

Namaste
Kalena

Why, when we are challenged to survive do we give ourselves permission to truly live?
–Kris Carr: Crazy Sexy Cancer

Filed under: Living Journal

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