Today is a Brand New Day

August 8, 2007 by Karen 

Hello everyone!! Sorry for the delay in updates. I have been wanting to get my own words out to you all and have had a few setbacks. Getting stronger every day!!! This month has shaken us all up and I am now more awake than I have ever been in my life.

First, I want to thank each and every person that has touched my life. You are all an inspiration to me in ways you cannot imagine. I am so grateful for the prayers and thoughts, emails, cards, gifts, donations… These little things have gotten me and my family through some tough times. Please keep ‘em coming. I apologize that I have been so long in returning contact- know that for every wish I receive, I am grateful. I love hearing from you all – send me funny photos and stories! I love to hear that life is normal and is going on!

Well, I returned home on July 28th and am I glad I put my foot down! The doctors were advising me to stay for another 45 days! I honestly don’t believe I would have survived it. The 20 days spent in the hospital were tough- tough on my body, my mind, and my spirit- tough on my family- especially tough on my Zaiden. I lost a lot of weight, much of my fight, and my health.

That is all behind me now. Behind us now. The transition home has not been easy, but I am feeling stronger every day- physically, emotionally, spiritually. Even though we moved to a “strange new city,” Austin has embraced me and my little family like nothing I have ever experienced. We have received so much support from friends of friends, strangers, services, EMT drivers, Angels. We have an amazing group of Moms who started a “Red Tent” for us- where someone delivers delicious, homemade, fresh vegetarian food to us three times a week. Zaiden started “play therapy” today through an organization called Wonders and Worries funded by the Lance Armstrong Foundation. My name is on more prayer lists than I can count. I am now on AIM! If you don’t know about it, please learn and get you and your family on it! It is energetic balancing and I have been sent info on smaller versions of AIM that have devoured dis-ease. I am receiving ACT (Alternative Cancer Treatment) info daily. I am so supported and loved. Thank you.

I want to let you all know of my decision. A dear friend told me that the root of “decision” is dissect- cut off all other possibilities and focus on the choice you make. So that is what I have spent these days at home doing. (And playing with my incredible daughter!!) The chemo was killing me and I have decided (at least for the time being) that this is just not a choice for me. I did one round. I lost my hair. (I am told I look like GI Jane!) I lost a lot of weight. It did what it needed to do and then some. To me and my spirit, it was like committing war on my body- something that just doesn’t work for me. I also did 10 rounds of radiation, which certainly helped. They are recommending 30 more treatments. Perhaps I will revisit this. But for now I am moving forward on an “alternative path.”

The doctors told Rick that the chemo and radiation, in my case, were merely life extending. Not curative. Well, I would prefer not to extend my life that way- with mouth sores and nausea and drugged up beyond comprehension. This is my choice. My family has been incredibly supportive in this choice. Regardless of their personal beliefs, every single member of my family and Rick’s has told me that they support my decision and that it is MINE alone to make.

I feel very confident and strong in my decisions. I am continuing with nurse care and physical therapy. I am now getting around with a walker and can even maneuver a bit on my own. I am taking supplements and waiting on a few more to arrive that I have learned about on this journey. I will eventually add links to some of the treatments that we find helpful. And please continue to send me info on things you learn about!!

Oasis of Hope in Mexico is on the back burner for now. It is simply too expensive (nearly $40,000 for the 24 day treatment they recommend). And at this point, I feel unnecessary. Perhaps that will change. But I have found some local alternative choices that I feel are a necessary part of my journey right now.

I am very excited to share that I am feeling strong enough to go on a health retreat. Many of you know that for the past 8 months or so, Austin has been “calling me.” I cannot believe it was only to get diagnosed. So I have been keeping my ears and eyes open to what is here for me right now. I received an email from a stranger telling me about a place in San Diego which also happens to have a branch just outside of Austin. It is called Optimum Health Institute and it is exactly what I feel that I need right now. It is a holistic- body, mind, spirit- place to rest and meditate and regain balance. I am blessed with the opportunity to go there for two weeks (my family is arranging to visit a couple of times) and I feel that this will help me really focus my energies on healing.

So this is where my journey takes me up to today. Again, thank you for your love, support, thoughts and prayers. They are helping more than you can imagine.

Namaste
Kalena

Filed under: Living Journal

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