Noah and the Ark
September 14, 2009 by Karen
A while back I was sharing the story of Noah’s Ark with Zaiden. Afterward, she said “If you don’t take care of the earth, God will take you away.” I didn’t know quite what to say!
I took it upon myself to do a bit of biblical research on the tale. I wanted a better way to explain it to her. So I searched in a concordance, a metaphysical dictionary and a couple of other reference tools and came up with a whole new understanding of Noah and the Ark.
It seems that an Ark represents the spiritual part of oneself. It is our own personal sanctuary, the “Christ within.” The more I dug, the more I learned. Noah himself represents tranquility and acceptance. Water, of course, cleanses. And the flood itself represents a destruction- which the dictionary defines as demolition, devastation. Can this demolition be simply an opportunity to rebuild? Isn’t this what God was supposedly doing? Wiping the slate clean- starting over- taking a DO-Over??
I was sharing all of this with a couple of like-minded friends and the more we discussed, the deeper it all became. Finally it occurred to me that the story is actually about accepting the challenges posed to us and seeking sanctuary within.
I thought of my own journey. Cancer certainly started out as a Flood for me. I was lost, overwhelmed, terrified, certainly not in control… If you look back over my journey, I decided long ago that this was my opportunity to take a Do-Over, to begin again. Over time, by going within, I built my own ark. My sanctuary. In a way, cancer itself became my ark, as I began to trust the lessons it taught me- teaches me- accept the gifts it granted me.
I returned to my daughter yesterday and shared my new interpretation for the story of the flood: Sometimes God gives us a flood to deal with- challenges, difficulties- and it is up to us to chose- do we let it overwhelm us- over take us? Or do we build an ark and let the waters lead us to the mountain top? It is ultimately our choice.
So, transform your floods into healing waters. Take trials as opportunities to start again. Look for the lessons, the gifts in the midst of adversity. Begin to build your ark one board, one nail at a time. And go within… All the answers lie within.
And never forget, at the end of every storm is a rainbow- a promise of better things. Hope, Faith, Love and Joy.
Never stop searching for that rainbow.
Karen
Keep Reaching No Matter What!
September 5, 2009 by Karen
Me and My Girl
Feeling sad today. I miss my baby girl.
It is amazing how when we carry someone- share our bodies with them- we are linked in a way that cannot be put to words. Connected forever.
I hate this- hate that I am missing today. Missing out on so much of her life. She is growing in leaps and bounds. Intelligent. Compassionate. Kind. Beautiful. Funny. People say she is starting to look like me. (I still don’t see it) She wants to emulate me. Which is not always the best thing…
She asked recently when she was going to get cancer… NEVER! Ever!
Most of the time I can find the JOY in the situation… When we are together on our ten day stints each month we are TRULY together. We make each and every moment count. Even the quiet, side by side, doin’ our own things moments. And the time she is in Austin, I know she is safe and healthy and happy. She loves her Daddy and he loves her. And I get time to heal- to rest… But of course I would much rather be with Zaiden. Always…
This has been the hardest part of the ride. The not having daily physical contact with my daughter- my baby whom I carried and nursed. Yes, I still have my “Why Me!?” days. My fits of tears. My Feelin-sorry-for-myself, stuck in the blues moments. It sucks. It’s hard. I hate it. I want to scream (and sometimes I do!). I get angry with myself and with God…
But I always come back, eventually. Because this is it. This is what I have to deal with. And so I Reach. I Reach high. I Reach deep. Sometimes it is difficult to find. But it is there… The Joy.
I am here, I am alive, I can sing and dance and play and eat and laugh and cry and learn and love and live.
And my baby will always be my baby.
They can’t take that away from me…
Reach- Reach for your Joy- no matter what life throws at you.
With tears in my eyes, sending you JOY-
Karen
with love from Zaiden
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